Less Is Beautiful
At 40, I Feel More Beautiful Doing Less Than I Did at 20
A note before we begin…
I share this because I get asked about it often.
People want to know what I do for my skin, my hair, my health, the low-tox tools I use, and why, at 40, I seem so committed to a different approach than what's typically promoted in mainstream beauty culture.
This isn't medical advice. It's not a prescription or a set of strict rules.
It's simply my story.
And if there's one thing I've learned over the years, it's that most women don't need another list of things they're doing wrong. We need permission to trust ourselves a little more.
I Spent Years Thinking I Needed Improvement
When I was younger, I spent a lot of time believing there was always something about me that needed fixing.
My eyebrows were too thin after years of over-tweezing. My hair wasn't the right color. My skin wasn't perfect enough. My body felt like a perpetual project. Every magazine, beauty aisle, and eventually every social media feed seemed ready to point out which flaw I should focus on next and conveniently offer a solution.
Some of those choices were harmless. Some I regret. Some taught me valuable lessons.
What I didn't realize then was that I was spending so much energy trying to become a different woman that I wasn't learning how to care for the woman I already was.
Now, I'm 40. And for the first time in my life, I feel genuinely at home in my own skin.
Not because I've discovered a secret anti-aging hack. Not because I've done everything perfectly. And definitely not because I somehow escaped beauty culture altogether. I didn't.
I bleached my hair. I over-tweezed my brows. I experimented with intense beauty treatments. I chased trends, and I bought products that promised much more than they could ever deliver. I spent years searching.
But somewhere along the way, my focus shifted. Instead of asking, "How can I fix myself?" I started asking, "How can I support myself?"
That single question changed everything.
What Changed First Wasn't My Skin
The biggest beauty lesson I've learned has very little to do with actual beauty products. My skin didn't improve because I finally found the perfect moisturizer, and my hair didn't transform because of a miracle treatment.
The foundation was much less glamorous. I simply started paying attention to how I was nourishing my body from the inside out.
I prioritized high-quality, animal-based protein.
I focused on nutrient-dense, ancestral foods.
I spent more time outside in natural sunlight.
I moved my body consistently and built strength.
I started respecting my sleep.
I became incredibly intentional about managing stress.
Over time, something surprising happened. The healthier I felt, the less interested I became in trying to look like someone else. My skin became clearer, my energy levels soared, my hair grew stronger, and my hormones felt genuinely balanced.
I stopped seeing wellness as something I could purchase, and started seeing it as a daily practice. That shift changed not only how I looked, but how I aged.
The Roads I Didn't Take
Because people ask, I will always answer honestly. There are many popular cosmetic procedures and treatments that I have chosen never to pursue.
Not because I believe other women are wrong for choosing them, and not because I think there's only one right way to age. Simply because they never felt aligned with who I am.
I've never had Botox.
I've never had dermal fillers.
I've never had laser resurfacing.
I've never had thread lifts.
I've never used pharmaceutical weight-loss drugs.
I've never had cosmetic surgery intended to alter my natural appearance.
Other women may feel wonderful about those choices, and that is their prerogative. This article isn't about their path; it's just about mine. And while I never went down the injection route, I certainly wasn't immune to beauty culture. I just participated in different ways—some of which I eventually outgrew.
The Things I Did Do (And What They Taught Me)
One of the gifts that comes with age is realizing that life is rarely black and white. There are choices I would make differently today, choices I'd make exactly the same, and choices that taught me lessons I deeply value.
My Breast Reduction
My one major surgery wasn't purely cosmetic. I was young, incredibly uncomfortable, and dealing with chronic physical pain that felt overwhelming at the time. The surgery brought immense physical relief, and for that reason alone, I don't regret it.
However, with more life experience and far more knowledge about functional movement, strength training, deep nutrition, posture, and holistic health—I can see how differently I might approach that same situation today. Both things can be true: it helped me then, yet there are trade-offs I understand now that I didn't comprehend at twenty.
One of the harder realities I've had to sit with is how it may have affected my ability to breastfeed later on. That is part of growing up—not rewriting the past, but learning to look at it with more perspective.
Today, instead of wishing I could change the past, I focus on supporting my body where it is now. I prioritize deep nourishment, strength, sauna sessions, and targeted therapies for scar tissue and nerve function.
If you're navigating a similar path and want to look into the specific low-tox tools and protocols I use to support cellular healing, scar tissue, and nerve regeneration, I’ve detailed my exact routine in my Holistic Lifestyle & Low-Tox Resource Guide.
Birth Control
I started hormonal birth control at 14 and stopped about a year later. Something about it simply never felt right for my body. Since then, I’ve spent decades learning how my body communicates naturally through my cycle.
One of the most empowering discoveries I made was that symptoms aren't flaws—they are information. Instead of viewing my monthly cycle as something to suppress, I began viewing it as vital feedback.
Switching to a nutrient-dense, animal-based diet was a complete game-changer for me; it entirely shifted my energy levels and eliminated the standard PMS symptoms that the beauty industry usually tries to sell us a cure for.
For those curious about conscious family planning (or avoiding pregnancy) without synthetic hormones, I highly recommend reading Taking Charge of Your Fertility. It is an incredible resource for learning how to track your cycle naturally and discover each phase through body literacy, observation, and awareness.
Tattoos
Yes, I have tattoos. No, I don't necessarily regret them. Would I make all the exact same design choices today? Probably not. But they tell a vivid part of my story.
Honestly, I think there's something incredibly refreshing about admitting that none of us arrive at our healthiest selves without collecting a few chapters we'd write a bit differently. As it stands now, I wouldn't opt for laser removal; my personal perspective is that the process might cause more systemic harm by circulating trapped toxins, though the jury is still out on that. Truthfully, I still like them.
The Beauty Trends I Eventually Left Behind
The Bleach Years
For years, I colored my hair, eventually going full blonde. And I loved it—until I didn't. Eventually, I realized I was spending an exorbitant amount of money, time, and energy fighting my natural biology.
Choosing to stop the bleach and grow it out wasn't glamorous. There were awkward phases and plenty of moments where I questioned my decision. But it taught me an invaluable lesson: sometimes confidence isn't about adding something new. It’s about stopping the battle with what is already yours.
Today, my hair care philosophy is beautifully minimalist: filtered shower water, regular scalp massages, minimal heat styling, ancestral nutrition, daily movement, and plenty of sunlight. I trust that healthy hair begins long before we ever apply a topical product.
When it comes to longevity and wellness, the best rule of thumb is always to start simple by removing the burdens first.
If you are curious about the clean hair tools and ancestral nourishment practices I use to maintain hair health over 40, you can find them all in my Holistic Lifestyle & Low-Tox Resource Guide. And if you want to dive deeper into my hair journey—including my favorite DIY hair masks and how my philosophy evolved—be sure to check out this blog post where I share the full story.
Microblading & Lash Extensions
Microblading solved a real problem created by my teenage over-tweezing era, and truthfully, I remain happy with the results. However, knowing what I know today, I would spend more time exploring natural hair regrowth options like high-quality castor oil and a lot of patience before choosing a semi-permanent cosmetic tattoo.
Lash extensions were another short-lived lesson. The meticulous maintenance, the frequent appointments, the eye irritation, and the recurring cost quickly added up. I soon realized I simply preferred looking like myself, rather than looking constantly "maintained."
The Biggest Surprise: Doing Less
For years, I assumed that achieving better skin required an escalating number of products, facials, clinical treatments, and multi-step routines. Ironically, my skin only truly improved when I simplified everything.
Today, my topical routine is remarkably basic:
Mineral-rich nutrition & proper cellular hydration
Filtered water
Unfiltered sunlight & restorative sleep
Dedicated time outdoors
Tallow-based moisturizers
A small, purposeful selection of low-tox tools
The less I try to force topical results, the better my skin seems to respond. I’ve taken this same low-tox approach to my makeup. I still enjoy wearing it occasionally, but these days I gravitate toward clean brands that are free from hormone-disrupting chemicals. The goal isn't to mask my skin, but to enhance it. The goal is simply to look like myself.
If you're looking to swap out conventional cleansing products, moisturizer and cosmetics for options that actually nourish your skin, you can find my curated list of clean, hormone-safe topicals and makeup favorites in my Holistic Lifestyle & Low-Tox Resource Guide.
The Things I Stopped Covering Up
One of the more unexpected shifts in my journey had nothing to do with traditional skincare or anti-aging. It was body odor.
This is usually the point where people assume I've gone too far, but 5 years ago, I stopped using deodorants and synthetic fragrances entirely. No perfume, no daily antiperspirant, no signature chemical scent lingering behind me when I leave a room.
Today, my routine is incredibly simple: natural fiber clothing, filtered water, high-quality tallow soap, daily movement, and regular sweating. And no—I don't walk around smelling bad. Not after intense workouts, and not even after deep sauna sessions.
What fascinated me was realizing how profoundly body odor is connected to internal biochemistry rather than what we apply topically. As I focused on nutrient-dense foods, paid closer attention to gut health, and managed my stress, my body's natural scent changed completely.
Modern culture teaches us to immediately mask every symptom: cover the odor, hide the blemish, suppress the signal. But sometimes, the signal is worth listening to. That doesn't mean everyone needs to throw away their deodorant today; it simply means this was one more area where I became curious about root causes instead of quick fixes.
I get it—not everyone can or wants to go without deodorant entirely, even if you are doing all the foundational things right. Though I personally choose not to use any, I know how helpful a clean transition product can be. From natural home remedies to highly rated, non-toxic products that others swear by, I've rounded up some options in my Holistic Lifestyle & Low-Tox Resource Guide.
Rebuilding From the Acrylic Years
If you grew up in the late '90s and early 2000s, there's a good chance you know this chapter well. For years, I assumed that weak, brittle nails were simply my genetic destiny. Mine were naturally thin, and after years of acrylics, harsh glues, nail drills, and constant salon maintenance, they became completely compromised.
Turns out, I was wrong about my genetics.
One of the biggest surprises of upgrading my nutrition was watching my nails slowly transform. Nothing happened overnight. But as I prioritized bioavailable protein, collagen-rich foods, essential minerals, and deep overall nourishment, my nails gradually became stronger than I ever remembered them being.
Today, my approach is refreshingly low-maintenance: a little olive oil on my cuticles, wearing gloves while doing dishes and removing harsh household chemicals. I use my hands constantly in water, dirt, boxing, weapons, , so it’s still a work in progress, but it’s been a beautiful reminder that what we often label as "bad genetics" is sometimes just a body asking for better building materials.
Learning to Pay Attention
The exact same philosophy influenced how I approach oral care. About five years ago, I stopped using conventional toothpaste—even the commercial "natural" versions. Not because I found a single perfect alternative, but because I became deeply curious about the oral microbiome. And guess what? Most of it is completely diet-related. The funny thing is, when I switched to an animal-based diet, the chemistry of my mouth microbiome completely changed. It got noticeably healthier, with significantly less plaque build-up and better breath.
This journey has taught me that health isn't a final destination where you arrive and suddenly have all the answers. It’s an ongoing relationship. A continuous conversation.
My current oral care routine relies on simple, effective tools: silk floss, a natural boar-bristle toothbrush, a Waterpik, and organic coconut oil pulling. Will it look exactly the same five years from now? Maybe not, and that's completely okay.
The biggest difference between how I approached beauty in my twenties versus how I approach it at 40 is that I no longer require absolute certainty. Back then, I was constantly searching for a magic product. Now, I'm much more comfortable with curiosity.
To see the exact step-by-step breakdown of my daily oral health routine and the non-toxic products I trust, feel free to check out my Holistic Lifestyle & Low-Tox Resource Guide.
What Beauty Means to Me Now
At 20, beauty felt like a moving target—an exhausting standard I was constantly running to catch up with. At 40, beauty feels like alignment.
It's waking up energized. It's feeling physically strong in my movements. It's trusting my body's internal wisdom. It's nurturing healthy, grounded relationships. It's laughing deeply and often. It's spending far less time analyzing my reflection in a mirror and far more time actually living my life.
Ironically, the less obsessed I've become with conventional beauty standards, the more radiant I feel. Maybe because chronic stress ages us much faster than birthdays ever could. Maybe because self-confidence changes a face more profoundly than any cosmetic procedure. Or maybe because our bodies respond beautifully when we finally stop treating them like problems to solve.
Final Thoughts: Moving Beyond the Basics
If there's one thing turning 40 has taught me, it's that beauty isn't something we achieve or purchase. It's something we uncover.
The older I get, the less interested I am in artificial perfection and the more interested I am in building a life that feels genuinely good to live inside of. A life grounded in nourishing food, joyful movement, abundant sunshine, deep human connection, and intuitive self-trust.
This path isn't about rejecting modern life, judging anyone else’s personal choices, or claiming there is a singular, correct way to grow older. It is simply a gentle reminder that you were never a broken project in need of constant improvement. For me, true beauty started when I stopped trying to become someone else, and finally allowed myself to become more of who I already am.
Once you cover the basic foundations of health—nourishing your body, resting, and shifting your mindset—the physical transition to a more natural lifestyle becomes a beautiful, organic next step. It’s not about restriction; it’s about choosing tools that honor your body’s natural design rather than working against it.
To help you skip the trial-and-error of searching for clean products, I’ve gathered every single tool, ancestral resource, and low-tox find that has supported my own transition into one comprehensive space. Whether you are looking to simplify your skincare, optimize your oral health, or consciously swap out everyday toxins, consider this guide a supportive roadmap for your own journey toward self-trust.
